What Makes a Great Friend?

The “love chapter,” as it’s known, is one of the most famous chapters in the Bible. It’s one that I personally return to again and again.

As I have been meditating on I Corinthians 13:4–7, I realized what a great passage it is on friendship. If you want your friendships to thrive, spend some time meditating on the characteristics that Paul mentions in these verses. It’s almost as if Paul is answering the question: What makes a great friend?

A True Friend is Patient (I Corinthians 13:4). Patience is a virtue that our culture seems to be in short supply of. In fact, I read this week in the news that Amazon can now deliver to your house in one hour. If you’re desperate for an item, you no longer have to wait—just pay a little extra, and Amazon will deliver it to your door. Within the realm of friendship, patience is a lovely quality. Don’t you love being with a friend who is patient? They show up as understanding when you’re late or forgiving when you forget, and they take the time to really know you.

A True Friend is Kind (I Corinthians 13:4). A little kindness goes a long way. Kind people seek to build others up rather than bragging about their own accomplishments. They don’t communicate with sarcasm or snippiness. They show up with compassion and comfort. They support you with encouraging words whenever possible. These are the friends who bring chicken soup when you have the flu. Kindness in friendship is invaluable.

A True Friend Does Not Envy or Boast (I Corinthians 13:4). The friends who are most precious are those who exemplify humility. They realize that friendship is not a competition. As a result, they don’t brag or boast about their accomplishments. They don’t give in to jealousy or envy when you have the bigger house, the nicer car, or the more lucrative job promotion. Instead, they simply celebrate with you.

A True Friend Honors and Respects You (I Corinthians 13:5). Your true friends won’t dishonor you or try to make you look foolish in front of others, even if you hold different opinions. They will respect that your opinion is different from theirs and that there may be several ways to view an issue. These friends will listen and seek to understand your perspective. They will seek to honor what God is doing in your life and what He is calling you to do. They will be your biggest cheerleaders in the areas of life that matter most to you.

A True Friend Keeps No Record of Wrongs (I Corinthians 13:5). This is a big one! As long as you are in relationship with people, you will be hurt. Allowing forgiveness and grace to flow through your life unhindered is one of the greatest gifts you can give a friend.

As I read through this chapter in I Corinthians, it is convicting. I like to put my name in there to see if those qualities are true in my life. For example, “Becky is patient.” As I put my name in, I realize the places where I fall short, and once again I get on my knees and ask the Lord to fill me with His Holy Spirit. I pray that these qualities would be developed in my life.

In your life, look for friends who exemplify these qualities. But also ask the Holy Spirit to examine your heart to see where these qualities may be lacking. Then ask God to do a mighty work in your heart.

This week on the Connected Mom Podcast, we are talking with Sheryl Giesbrecht Turner about the times in our lives when we don’t feel seen. Be sure to join us for this powerful conversation!

I’m looking for some faithful readers who will leave a review for Friend-Wise on Amazon. Would you be willing to be one of those friends? If so, please email me and let me know!