5 Lessons When Christian Leaders Fall

Last week, many of us were shocked by Philip Yancey’s confession that he had engaged in an eight-year extramarital affair. I, like you, felt heavy-hearted and sad over the news. We’ve had too many of these stories over the past few years.

I’ve wrestled with the question, “How do we, as the body of Christ, respond to and process these stories?” What does God want to teach us? How can we love well while still internalizing the warning that comes with each moral failure? What should our reaction be?

As I’ve wrestled with these questions, I’ve landed on five lessons.

5 Lessons When Christian Leaders Fall

None of Us Is Above Sin. While the sinful actions of Philip Yancey and the woman who had the affair with him horrify me, I realize none of us is without sin. We are all sinners, and as such, we are tempted to break vows, hurt others, and act selfishly (Romans 3:23).

While We Can’t Judge, We Must Discern That Sin Is Sin. We don’t throw rocks, but we don’t excuse. While all sin is bad, sexual sin holds greater consequences than most other sins. The ripple effect of sexual sin is huge. Many people are left hurt in its wake.

We Must Keep Boundaries in Place. Satan is tempting believers and accusing them continually. We must be people who hold wise boundaries in place. We must put fences around our sexuality, as well as what we watch and what we hear, to keep our hearts focused on Jesus. Boundaries were God’s idea. I don’t believe anyone wakes up one morning and says, “Isn’t it a lovely day? I think I’ll have an affair.” Instead, there’s a gradual lessening of God-ordained boundaries. How much wiser it is to keep firm boundaries in place.

Integrity Matters More Than Platform. I believe that power distorts our thinking. We are living in a day and age where everyone is talking about platforms. Can I be bold with you? I don’t believe God calls us to expand our platforms. He calls us to glorify Him. The psalmist wrote, “One thing I ask of the LORD, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the LORD and to seek Him in His temple” (Psalm 27:4). When we’re more obsessed with fixing our gaze on Jesus than on our own success, sin will be less attractive.

We Need a Circle of Close Friends Around Us. A circle of close friends helps protect us when we are tempted. If we cultivate authentic and vulnerable relationships with a few close friends, we are more protected against the stupidity of immorality. We have a hard time seeing our own faults. Our self-protective defenses are very strong. As David wrote, “Who can discern their own errors?” (Psalm 19:12). When we refuse to isolate and instead keep ourselves surrounded by wise friends, they help us see when we are drifting toward sin.

Friend, it’s been a heavy week with this most recent news, but rather than growing depressed, ask God to stir up in you a deeper commitment to Him. If you’re married, guard your marriage—it’s precious! Whether you are married or single, keep your eyes focused on Jesus. May we echo the prayer of David the psalmist:

“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23)

This week on the Connected Mom Podcast, we’re talking about healing from deep mother wounds with therapist and author Kenza Haddock. Be sure to listen in because even if you haven’t experienced mother wounds, it’s likely one of your friends has. So tune in and grow in your ability to empathize with others. 

Friend-Wise is almost here!! I would love your stories of friendship!  Feel free to send me an email at becky@beckyharling.com telling me how friendships have sustained you through the years. You can order your copy of Friend-Wise here.