In the realm of performance issues, in which area do you struggle the most: perfectionism, people pleasing, or both?
Probably perfectionism. My personality temperament is a 50% split of melancholy/choleric, so the melancholy side seeks that perfectionism and the choleric side forges ahead in whatever needs to be done. Many times a leader cannot be concerned about what people think. I find, however, as I get older that my “forge aheader” is mellowing some.
Where do those issues play out most in your life: family, friendships, career, or in your relationship with God?
I would say it has played out in every area of life, but the area in which it has had the least effect would be with my friendships. I seem to be able to offer grace and freedom to my friends where I find it more difficult to offer that same grace to myself and the areas for which I feel a responsibility.
How did your performance issues impact your family? (Husband, children, extended family)
I never knew I was a perfectionist until way into my marriage. I grew up the oldest child in an alcoholic home and true to the stereotype, I was always trying to make things right and proper. We were poor, and I knew that there was a better way to live. I didn’t know that I was a perfectionist—I was simply trying to make things as they should be.
I excelled in school and in my piano, and when we had children I expected that same excellence from them. We have three daughters, and they were always dressed “to the nines,” did well in school, each one excelling in their chosen fields. As they have moved into adult life, sometimes they don’t run their households like I would, but they are wonderful, productive citizens who love the Lord and their families … and each other, so I’m happy! I’ve taken off my perfectionism hat.
What is one verse you feel every performer could benefit from internalizing?
This was my verse for last year and I’ve kept it for this year as well. “The Lord will accomplish what concerns me; Thy lovingkindness, O Lord, is everlasting; Do not forsake the works of Thy hands.” Psalm 138:8
I don’t have to be perfect for the Lord to accomplish his purpose in me. He will see to that without my help!
Tell us a little bit about the book you are giving away?
I’m giving away Book One in my Darkness To Light Series, In The Shadow of The Sun King. It is based on my family genealogy in 17th century France when the Huguenots (French Protestants) fled the persecution of the Catholic government.
Leave a comment and interact with Golden, and your name will be entered to win a copy of The Shadow of the Sun King!