In only twenty days, Freedom From Performing will be on the shelves! It’s hard for me to believe.
I have to tell you, my performance issues once again rose to the surface while writing this book! It seems like you decide to write about freedom and performance issues and Satan rubs his nasty little hands together and begins to whisper all the old messages into your ear. He tries everything possible to derail our freedom! Certainly, this was the case with me. One old temptation that came back to me during the writing process was the temptation to compare myself to others. I found myself particularly envious of authors who were obviously having an easier time writing than me. While writing Freedom, several of my friends who are also authors started and completed books in half the time it took me to write Freedom. I mean, that is just NOT fair! I clearly remember one day when one of my daughters had heard Karen Kingsbury on the radio say that it took her approximately ten days to write a book! Sigh………..
The tendency for me to compare myself to others is an old habit that has been very hard to break. Even while writing the chapter in Freedom that deals with envy and our tendency to compare ourselves to others, I remember thinking, “God, why can’t I write faster and smoother like………….” I can just see God lovingly rolling His eyes thinking, “Here we go again………precious Becky, How about you just be satisfied with the gifts and abilities I’ve given you?”
What I love is that one of Jesus core disciples also struggled with performance issues. Comforting huh? The disciple’s name was Peter. Jesus told Peter about the type of death Peter was going to have to suffer. (John 21:18) He bascially warned Peter that he was going to be martyred for his faith. That must have been a tough moment for Peter. Uncomfortable and perhaps a bit offended, Peter noticed that the disciple John was walking close behind them and so he asked Jesus – “Lord, what about him?” (John 21:21) Jesus replied, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.” (John 21:22)
Reading those verses, I can almost hear the Holy Spirit whispering, “Becky, if I want Karen Kingsbury to write a chapter in ten days, what is that to you? You obey me, and write according to the abilities I’ve given you.”
Ah, my fellow performers, we need to put away the measuring stick. When we compare ourselves to others we either end up prideful, or insecure. One principle that has helped me, is to remind myself to worship the Giver of the gifts and not the gifts themselves. Some will always be more talented, or more beautiful, or more successful than me. But, if I have my eyes focused on the Giver of the gifts and not the gifts themselves, I’m not as likely to compare. Try it and let me know how it works for you!
I’m loving reading your comments – so keep them coming! Tomorrow – I’ll choose a name and you’ll win a Starbucks card as a thank you for participating!