Freedom From Performing: Grace In AnApplause Driven World – Week 12
Written by Becky on April 11, 2012.
Week 12
LiveIn The Spirit
Fix your desire upon this divine, wondrous grace:
“I will dwell in them.”
Andrew
Murray
Introduction:
This is the last week of our study together. Thanks so much for participating! My prayer for you is that you would continue to
stand firm in your freedom. As we finish up I want you to take away this one truth: You can be free from performing only
because the Holy Spirit dwells in you. If you have received God’s grace the living God dwells in you! Isn’t that amazing? You don’t have to try harder; you only have to move out of the way and allow Him to live through you. Rather than setting your desire on a “more successful” Christian walk, set your desire on the filling of the Holy Spirit moment by moment.
Freedom From Performing: Grace In An Applause Driven World – Week 11
Written by Becky on March 29, 2012.
Week 11
Say Thanks
Grace and gratitude belong together – like heaven and earth.
Graceevokes gratitude like the voice an echo.
Gratitude follows grace as thunder follows lightening.
Karl
Barth
Introduction:
Recently, I read Ann Voscamp’s book One Thousand Gifts. In her book, Ann accepts the challenge from a friend to make a list of 1,000 things that she is thankful for. It was a
great reminder to cultivate gratitude. That’s the theme of this week’s study –
saying thanks! I have found in my life that the more I say thanks, the less I feel the pressure to perform. God has given us an incredible gift – His grace. The more we say thanks, the more His Spirit helps us to internalize and live in the reality of His gift of grace.
Jesus’s story in Luke 7:36-50 illustrates this point.
Freedom From Performing: Grace In An Applause Driven World – Chapter 10
Written by Becky on March 21, 2012.
Week 10
Surrender In The Hidden Place
God’s servants must be taught the value of the hidden life.
F.B. Meyer
Introduction:
The earth was empty; a formless mass, cloaked in darkness. (Genesis 1:2) Have you ever felt like that? Formless and void?
In the opening of this chapter, I write about a time in my husband Steve’s life when he felt dark and empty. He went from a prominent ministry position to obscurity over night. The place of obscurity is hard for performers because we are the ones who are out there trying to change the world. Yet, the hidden place is often the place of greatest transformation in the life of the performer. This is the message of the parable of the grain of wheat.
Freedom From Performing: Grace In An Applause Driven World – Week 9
Written by Becky on March 14, 2012.
Week 9
Walk Away From the Bait
It is inevitable that, in a world of increasing harshness and cruelty,
you will at some point be hurt.
But if you fail to react with love and forgiveness,
if you retain in your spirit the debt the offender owes you,
that offense will rob your heart of its capacity to love.
Francis Frangipane
Introduction:
It seems that those of us who are performers get our feelings hurt easily and become offended. In the opening of this chapter I shared how this has been true in my life and in the lives of some of my friends. When I asked a number of women their thoughts on this they offered some great insights on why as performers we are so easily offended. Their responses are listed on page, 166. Check them out.
The bottom line is this: Satan knows exactly how to trap us. “He too longed for stardom and he knows just how to bait us. He dangles before us hurt feelings from being criticized, ignored, or slighted. As soon as we take his bait, snap! The trap closes and we’re caught.” (p. 167)
Jesus told a story for every performer who is easily offended. Peter had asked Jesus, “Lord how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” (Matthew 18:21-22) Jesus responded with the following story.
Freedom From Performing: Grace In An Applause Driven World – Week 8
Written by Becky on March 7, 2012.
Freedom From Performing: Grace In An Applause Driven World
Week 8
Discover Your True Belovedness
God is indeed a wonderful Father who longs to pour out His
mercy upon us and whose majesty is so great that He can
transform us from deep within.
Teresa of Avila
Introduction
Many of us believe that our belovedness is rooted in how well we perform. These feelings often originated in childhood, with parents who offered conditional love and acceptance.
At one point in His earthly ministry, Jesus asked, “Which of you if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish will give him a snake?” (Matthew 7:9-10). Even though Jesus is suggesting something outrageous, this is how some of us were treated by our parents. Instead of nurturing us, they gave us the stone of emotional coldness. Instead of giving us gifts that would feed and nourish our souls, they gave us biting criticism, or even abuse, which poisoned our spirits. As a result, we internalized the belief, “I can never be good enough, or do enough, to be loved by you.” Sadly, that belief system follows us into adulthood, and subconsciously, we try as hard as we can to find approval and be loved. Jesus knew that if we were going to internalize God’s love, He would have to paint a different portrait of God than the picture we have in our heads of our earthly parents. This is exactly what He did in the parable of the lost son (Luke 15:11-32). My prayer for you as you complete this chapter in our study is that you will get a glimpse of just how deeply the Father loves you and that you will dance in the security of knowing you are His beloved daughter.
Freedom From Performing: Grace In An Applause Driven World – Week 7
Written by Becky on February 29, 2012.
Freedom From Performing: Grace In An Applause Driven World
Week 7
Let Go Of Being Perfect
Do not dwell upon your inner feelings…
Just do this: Bring your soul to the Great Physician – exactly as you are,
Even and especially at your worst moments…
For it is in such moments that you will most readily sense His healing presence.
Teresa of Avila
Introduction
Growing up, I felt a lot of pressure to bring God my best, but my best felt difficult to measure. How could I know for sure if I had brought God my best? I couldn’t. So, I set higher goals for myself. Whenever my performance wasn’t perfect, I felt like a failure. Perfectionism followed me into adulthood. In Freedom From Performing, I wrote that though at times perfectionism served me well, more often than not, it did me more harm than good. The question that haunted me most was this: When I get to heaven, will God say “well done”?
I am guessing that many of you can relate to me in the realm of perfectionism. Every time you do a job, you strive for perfection. While it may earn you applause from others for a job well done, it may be getting in the way of your spiritual walk. Jesus told a story that helps performers understand that His standard is not perfection but faithfulness.
Freedom From Performing: Grace In An Applause Driven World – Week 6
Written by Becky on February 22, 2012.
Week 6
Put Away the Measuring Stick
Our constant propensity to compare ourselves
to the women around us
is wrecking our perceptions of both ourselves and them.
Beth Moore
Introduction
The question every performer asks is: “How do I measure up?” The problem is, when we compare ourselves or our things with those around us or their things, it’s a recipe for disaster! Think about it… what are the areas where you struggle with envy?
- Maybe it’s in the realm of material things – Why can’t you live in a house like your friend’s?
- Maybe it’s in the realm of body image – Why is it your friend never has to diet and she looks like a supermodel?
- Maybe it’s in the realm of your marriage – Why doesn’t your husband bring you flowers like your friend’s husband?
- Maybe it’s in the realm of abilities or accomplishments – Why didn’t you get the promotion at work that your friend got?
On and on our list goes. Sigh. Envy is serious business, isn’t it? It can ruin our friendships, our marriages, and our self-esteem. Life was never meant to be a competition, so we need to figure out how to put away the measuring tape! Jesus told a story about envy – let’s take a look.
Freedom From Performing: Grace In an Applause Driven World – Week 5
Written by Becky on February 15, 2012.
Week 5
Find Your Purpose and Passion
Recognizing who we are in Christ and aligning our
life with God’s purpose for use gives us a sense of destiny….
It gives form and direction to our life.
Jean Fleming
Introduction:
When my husband and I were first married Steve was the pastor of a little country church. My young groom thought I was “super woman” which was flattering for a while until one fateful business meeting. I was unable to attend that meeting and in my absence Steve had me voted in as the assistant organist. Now that would have been fine had I known how to play the organ! But, I didn’t have a clue. In fact, I had never touched an organ! I lived in fear that the church organist would die (she was 86 at the time) and that I would be called on to play in her absence. As I have grown up and found freedom from performing, I have figured out how God has wired me and where He might best use me in His kingdom.
Jesus calls each of us to join Him in His mission of sharing His grace with the world. When we internalize God’s grace it gives purpose and passion to our lives. In this chapter, we will be exploring how discovering your own unique design might help you join God in sharing His grace with world. Continue Reading…
Freedom From Performing: Grace In An Applause Driven World – Week 4
Written by Becky on February 8, 2012.
Week 4
Give Yourself Permission to Rest
We must drink deeply from the very Source of deep calm
And peace of interior quietude and refreshment of God,
Allowing the pure water of divine grace to flow plentifully
From the source itself.
Mother Teresa
Introduction:
This morning I read in Sarah Young’s book, Jesus Calling, “Come to Me for rest and refreshment. The journey has been too much for you, and you are bone-weary. Do not be ashamed of your exhaustion. Instead, see it as an opportunity for Me to take charge of your life.”
Have you ever felt “bone-weary”? I certainly have! In this chapter we’re going to talk about rest. Why do you think so many of us performers are exhausted and stressed out? As I mention in the book, I’ve spent considerable time thinking about this and have concluded that there are a number of factors that suck us into a whirlwind of busyness. Here are just a few:
- The never-ending to-do list. If I don’t do it, who will?
- The pressure to produce. Productivity feeds our insatiable appetite to accomplish and succeed. But when is enough enough, and who defines success?
- The quest for financial security. Many women work more than forty hours a week in order to make ends meet, but at what cost?
- Our addiction to applause. A full calendar feeds our egos. After all, if my calendar is full, I must be important, right?
Can you relate to any of those? As performers we take on too much and end up stressed out. We feel guilty resting. Jesus, however, taught a different lifestyle. He told a tiny parable with big implications for every stressed out performer.
Freedom From Performing:Grace In An Applause Driven World – Week 3
Written by Becky on February 1, 2012.
Week 3
Build A Rock-Solid Core
“When we live a life centered around what others like, feel, and say,
we lose touch with our own identity.”
Neva Coyle
Introduction:
Have you ever felt like you were living life as though every appointment was another audition? I certainly have! Being a people pleaser, the continual question I asked myself was, “How did I come across?” Whew, take it from one who knows, that’s exhausting!
When we live to please others we often lose ourselves in the process. We end up creating a false self that we perceive looks better to others. Our false self is an identity built around things like accomplishments, productivity and people pleasing. Bottom line, it’s not the real you! Instead, our false identity is formed around an equation that Robert S McGee talked about in his book The Search for Significance. That equation looks like this:
Self-worth = Performance + Others’ Opinions
When we live based on that equation, we don’t experience God’s grace because it is our “real” selves, no matter how messed up, that God loves. So how do we fix the problem? We’ve got to re-shape our core, not our physical core, but our emotional and spiritual core. My core identity needs to be that I am a beloved child of God. Jesus told a story that illustrates how important it is to have a strong core.