There’s a lot of confusion revolving around self-awareness. Some of you are wondering as you read this, “Where in the world is Becky going with this blog post?” Hang with me.
To be self-aware simply means you are aware of what’s going on in your heart, how you’re coming across to others, and where you might need to change.. You may hear people say “Self-awareness sounds too much like self-focused.” Quite the opposite is true. Those who are self-aware generally relate to others out of a heart of humility.
God’s primary agenda in your life is to change you so that you become more like Jesus! The truth is Jesus was extremely self-aware; He knew who He was and why He had come. He was very self-aware, but not at all self-focused. He said, “I and the Father are one” (John 10:30). But He also said, “I didn’t come to be served but to serve others” (Matthew 20:28).
His humility was wrapped up in His relationship with the Father. He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that He was deeply loved. When you have a deep understanding of how deeply you’re loved, you’re more able to handle the truth about how you might be coming across.
So how do you strengthen your self-awareness? Here are a few ideas to try this week:
- Pray – The Psalmist prayed, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you” (Psalm 139:23-24 NLV). I love the humility of that prayer. I believe that the best place for raising your self-awareness is on your knees. There before a God that loves and knows you completely, you can find the courage to pray, “Point out anything that offends you.” Then listen to what He says.
- Ask – Develop the regular practice of doing an internal check where you ask yourself, “What’s going on in my heart?” Reflective listening will help you discover lurking motives and emotions in your heart, such as ambition, insecurity, jealousy, and the quest for validation. Any one of those could easily sabotage your ability to listen to others.
- Invite – Find the courage to honestly invite feedback from others. Ask others after a meeting at work, “How did I come across in the meeting?” Or invite the feedback of your spouse on how they experienced you in a recent conversation. Did you come across tense, sarcastic, stressed, distracted, or hurried? It’s hard to ask those questions, but if you can find the courage to invite honest feedback, you’ll become far more aware of how you come across to others.
The journey towards more self-awareness can feel dangerous and threatening, but honestly it’s worth the effort. The pay off will be an attitude that’s more like Christ and relationships that are more fulfilling.
To help you in your journey to become more aware I’ve got a FREE gift for you! It’s called The 5-day Active Listening Challenge.
http://beckyharling.com/the-5-day-active-listening-challenge/Every day for 5 days, you’ll receive a very short video from me coaching you towards better listening skills. It’s a great way to improve your marriage, your parenting, and your work relationships! I’d love to hear about your experience, so leave a comment!